Eyes like Ruth

I don't know about you, but when life sucks, I am pretty selfish.

I recently had a baby. (Recently as in 6 weeks ago!) I came home from the hospital with my two day old baby only to find my entire family sick. I was anxious, exhausted and stressed. Fast forward to today.

Today I read the story of Ruth. She was widowed at a young age with no children to show for it. She lost not only her comfort and security for the time being, but all hope for the future. Life sucked, but Ruth was not selfish. In the midst of difficulty she looked beyond her own pain and decided to comfort her mother-in-law. She was truly selfless.

Ruth and her mother-in-law move to Bethlehem and just so "happen" to come upon the field of Boaz. Unaware of this, Ruth decides to glean from this field and gains favor from Boaz. Ruth's reputation precedes her. Becuase of this Boaz took her as his wife and she had a son name Obed. Through Boaz, Ruth also became a part of the lineage of Jesus.

Ruth's life was a chaotic mess. She had every right to be angry, bitter, and depressed but she wasn't. I look back on this last month and realize that I missed it. I missed the opportunity to look beyond my difficulty and bless the people in my life. Instead, in the middle of my exhaustion, I succumbed to fear. I wallowed in self pity. I was angry.

I look back and wish I had snuggled my kiddos more when they were sick. I wish I had thanked my mother-in-law more who sacrificed her time to take care of us. I wish I had been more encouraging to my husband who was trying to serve us and the church. Hindsight is always 20/20.

The Lord blessed Ruth beyond her wildest imagination. I love seeing how God can't help but pour his love out on her! I wonder how much I miss out on because I am too focused on manipulating my circumstances to create my own version of happiness. I wonder what will happen if I start trusting his plan even when it doesn't feel good.

I want to have eyes like Ruth. I want my faith look beyond my circumstances.  I want to trust him more. I want to be selfless in midst of it all.

So my family and friends, it's been a few months since my last update. Since then SO much has happened. The church has continued to grow and the best part of that has been the new friends we have made. We are so blessed and feel like we finally have a home here in the low country. As always, we think of our family and friends in Colorado often and miss them!

Since September we have also started a ladies prayer night and men's prayer breakfast, both of which meet every other week. We have seen tremendous growth from this spiritually. We have really enjoyed the fellowship time after church each week. We know that this is a precious time as we will not always have a small enough group to all hang out at the same time, so we treasure it!

I was VERY blessed to be able to attend a Pastor's Wives conference in October in sunny San Diego. I  brought my sweet friend Jacky and we had an amazing time! We were so encouraged to hear from other church planters that we aren't crazy. It was a blessed time and we were very refreshed both spiritually and mentally.

In November our family took a trip back to Colorado for Jon's brother's wedding. We had such an amazing time seeing our friends and family. The Lord really blessed us and reminded us that even though time passes, our loved ones are still close to us. An additional blessing was the peace He gave me when we returned home. It actually felt like we had come HOME. (Those of you who have followed this blog know that it's a very big deal to call it that!) We finished out the month with a wonderful thanksgiving with our family and friends here.

And here we are in December. It's interesting how the Lord has brought us full circle again back to a place of faith. There have been a few obstacles that have revealed how comfortable I have been. God had to show me that He is the one who has sustained us this far, and will continue to do that NO MATTER WHAT the future holds. We are so excited for our first Christmas Eve service. And as we have been reminding the girls that The Lord LOVES to give us gifts, he gave us a wonderful one: Jon was able to put his 2 weeks in at his job and will be a full time pastor beginning in January!

I have so much anticipation for what God wants to do this next year. When I was looking through our photos from this past year, it felt like last christmas was a lifetime away. It's almost unbelievable how much has changed! I can only imagine what God has in store for us. We continue to press into Christ as we wait to see what he does.

I put a little smilebox together to share some glimpses of our family this past year. I hope you enjoy!

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)

Make your own free collage

Never Once

For about a year I have been in survival mode in every way. I have struggled to keep life going. It's very difficult to leave the home you have had for almost 30 years and start from scratch. You have to find new grocery stores, new playgrounds, new friends, new families and new routine. This year was spent doing just that, and not much else.

October of 2012 I had barely arrived and started making my home in Mt. Pleasant when I joined Calvary Chapel of Charleston's Women's Retreat. It was a very quiet place for me. I had a lot of doubts. I had a lot of fears. "What if we made the wrong choice in coming here? What if this really wasn't God's plan? What if we work hard, and are desperately broke and lonely and nothing comes of it? What if, what if, what if?" In that quiet place of my life I clung to faith. "For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

Almost a year later, I headed off to the same retreat with 6 women in tow. I was overwhelmed as I worshipped and saw these women in the crowd, each face a reminder of God's faithfulness. The song Never Once was the theme of the retreat, and has been the theme of my life for about a year now. I couldn't believe the presence of God in that place. Sometimes faith can be a desert and can feel like a lonely place. But I am so thankful for the parts of me that clung to it.

I can be honest and say that I fail all the time. I can be honest and tell you that there have been many tear filled prayers. I can tell you that so many times I wanted more than anything to be with the people that I loved in Colorado and watch the sun set over the mountains. But each time, my heart clung to faith.

Here I am only 1 year later. I am amazed each week as more and more people pour into the doors of the church and are hungry for God's word. I am in awe of the sweet friends God has surrounded us with. I am in love with the southern sunsets that have a misty haze about them. And as I sat there worshipping God surrounded by the women he brought into my life, I felt His presence. I can count on my fingers the amount of times I have FELT the presence of God in my life. That night was one of them.

Maybe it's hard for you to trust a God you cannot see. Maybe it's hard to know a God you cannot feel. I am reminded of when Jesus told Thomas, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I didn't feel God when I chose to follow Him.  I didn't see God when he called me here to brokenness, and loneliness. But I chose faith, no merit to me. God supplied it daily. But there on that evening I saw God and I felt Him.

Maybe you are in the faith that feels like a desert. Maybe you are clinging to the hope that He is who He says He is. Maybe you have recently felt His presence and seen Him. Where ever you are, God is faithful. Every step we are breathing in His grace. Evermore lets sing out His praise. You are faithful. God you are faithful.

Never once did we ever walk alone.
Never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful

Hope: The Unexpected Blessing.

Can you believe it? I am sitting here blogging with a cup of hot coffee and a chocolate chip muffin while 3 children under 2 are sleeping. Just one of the many things I can thank God for.

It amazes me all over again, as I sit and recount the blessings of God in my life in these past 3 months. I  actually started making a list on my iphone of all the answered prayers because I didn't want to forget to thank God for them. I wish there was time for me to explain to you in detail how God has answered my prayers, but there isn't. So I will just say, God is good. He is so good.

I want to encourage/plead with you this afternoon to give God a chance. That has been the reoccurring thread in the tapestry of this move. I am in awe of how big my God is, and although I always had the knowledge of it, only now do I have the experience of it. I admit it has come with a LOT of tears, and actually quite a lot of pain. Moving here wasn't easy. It still isn't. Most of each day is filled with heart ache for the ones we left behind. But slowly and faithfully God has filled my hand each day with a new blessing.

I spend so much time dreaming about the day that this place feels like home. I crave that security. But instead of clinging to that, the Lord has caused me to be desperate for Him. I can't live a moment without Him, and He is rewarding that. I can feel Him close to me. I know He walks with me. I feel His hands guiding me and His arms comforting me. I know the closeness of His face to mine and He reminds me, "Fix your eyes on ME Carolyn."

Giving God the opportunity to have me in every way has both ruined me and changed me forever. I say that with so much admiration for Him. I am so new and I love who He is making me. I laugh at how much I don't care about anymore. I used to be so consumed with my house being filled with trendy decor and wearing the right colors for the coming seasons. I used to calculate in my mind how much we should be able to make in the next 10 years in order to purchase a home. But now, my desire is for Him. Not to know about Him, but to be with Him. I long for His presence each day. I want to please Him in every decision and word and motion.

We have never been so poor. We have never been so lonely. We have never been so broken. But I have hope.

How can I make that sound as rewarding as it truly is? Maybe there is no way to explain it. But friends, it is so full. I have hope in my Jesus! I could sit here and tell you how He has provided for me financially, and how He has rewarded us with physical blessing. I could tell you how He has gone above and beyond all we ask Him for. But nothing compares to the hope I have found in Him.

Give Him a chance. Hope is the unexpected blessing.

So you say you love the Lord...

I admit moving to SC was not my first choice. Neither was being a pastors wife, or even a mom for that matter. There was actually a point in my life where I never wanted children. God in His grace has moved me inch by inch, mile by mile to obey His will for my life. The most amazing part about it is not that He changed my heart, although that is a miracle in itself, but that I have found joy. It's real genuine joy. One I never had in pursuit of the things I thought I wanted or the things that "felt right."

I have had a lot on my mind lately about what it means to be a follower of Christ and what it should look like when we claim Him as Lord. God is so amazing as He answered all my questions in my study today. It's a bit long so don't feel obligated, but if you are curious as I was, read on...

I read from John 14:25-31
I got so much from the whole passage, but it would take too much time to share it all so I'lll just share with you the last verse.

14:31 "But that the world may know that I love the Father, as the Father gave me commandment so I do."

Jesus leaves us with the example of what loving God means. He Himself obeys the Father to show the world He loves the Father! 

It's an interesting thing to me how vague people assume God's will to be. As long as we are all nice and don't judge each other God will think us good enough. I am beginning to wonder how anyone who reads God's word could come to that conclusion? Unless of coarse it is not really believed to be the word of God. (If that happens to be you and you really do want to know for yourself, look up a book called 7 Reasons Why You Can Trust The Bible. It's great.)

God's will for us is simple:
1. Love Him
2. Obey His commands.

In doing this we should fall naturally into the things people preach at us: "love, don't judge."

Yes......but first....obey God. 

Care about what HE says FIRST. Do you think he will be fooled in the end assuming, "Well they didn't really obey most of my commands but they sure loved people. And they didn't judge."
I think He will say what he ALREADY said:

 "Not everyone who says to me 'Lord Lord' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but He who does the will of my father in heaven." -Matthew 7:21

I admit I have lived so much of my life selfishly. I am not perfect at all. In fact I'm so far from it. Taking this step of submission to move to SC has been the most difficult one to date, but in return the most rewarding! God is so beautiful. He asks us to show Him our love, then He gives so much more to us. 

So you say you love the Lord? Prove it! The reward is greater than we could ever imagine.

"Lord, let me follow your example in every way. Help me to submit to Your call and show the world how much I love you..."

Where God Guides...

Hello to all my family and friends! It's been almost 6 weeks since we've moved and it feels like a lifetime. There is so much to catch you up on!

First of all, God is so faithful! I prayed for a year that the Lord would provide a safe, clean home for us in Mt. Pleasant on a very small budget. This is a little bit more challenging than some would think. We happen to find a place on craigslist that had just dropped in price. My parents saw it before we signed the lease just days before moving. When I first saw the house I was able to understand how we got it for such a good price. It needed lots of work! Praise the Lord I came out 2 weeks before Jon. I was able to scrub down the house and get some painting done before he arrived. I kept telling him when he got here that he had no idea how dumpy it was before he showed up. When he arrived it looked so much nicer, thanks to the team of people who helped me!

Another provision from the Lord was our jobs. (Didn't I tell you God was going to provide?) Well, it just so happens that an old friend that I used to work with lives 10 minutes down the road and was looking for someone to watch her baby during the week. Of course I couldn't resist. The baby is still very young and sleeps most of the day. I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my own children and enjoy the company of a sweet baby girl and get payed for it! Jon was immediately hired at Starbucks after a glowing review from his old manager. :) Praise the Lord they hired him on at his old pay rate so he didn't have to start from the bottom again! The best part is the Lord has already given him many opportunities to witness to both the staff and customers and invite them to Bible study. I know the Lord will use him there in a mighty way.

So now that we have moved in and have settled into our jobs, we will be starting our first Bible study this coming Sunday. We have already met a family who has been living in Mt. Pleasant for 4 months and have been praying for a Bible teaching church to come here! We visited a local church that is very large in this area and found that it was very nice and friendly, but didn't have much of the Word. We hope that this Bible study will have a two-fold purpose; to bring unbelievers to Christ and to further equip the believers.

Lastly, we have made a few friends. Jon has been able to hang out with some people from work. We also met some neighbors across the street who have a little boy just Jaiden's age and the mom is due in a week! They have been so welcoming and it has been a comfort to have sweet people in our neighborhood.

Please continue to pray for us as we move forward in the Lord's call on our lives. Pray that the Lord will continue to give us faith to follow through all that He calls us to do. Please pray for the Lord to give us peace and comfort as we are always stretched out of our comfort zone! And pray for God to continue to provide for us financially.

I know I could go on but it's late, and this mommy brain is done! I will do my best to keep up with the blogging. We love and miss all of our Colorado friends and family so much. Praise the Lord we can keep in touch.

Until next time...

Hurry Up and Wait

... This has been my mantra this past week. (Is that all it's been; one week??) We arrived in Charleston early last Tuesday and have been going ever since. I can't believe how this week has flown. We have spent the better part of every day cleaning and painting our new town home. Praise the Lord we had the extra time to do that. Jon arrives with our moving truck tonight. It's amazing how God has sustained me physically, mentally and spiritually this past week. Today is the first day I have had a spare moment to think...and that's when the panic set in. :/ I realized for the first time, we have bills to pay in 3 weeks and we have no jobs! I am laughing because my blogs this far have been words of encouragement that I have had to read to myself today. But I figured I would share this moment of faith anyway because it will be so awesome to post my next blog and be able to share with you how God provided.

I know my God is so big. He has done so many impossible things in my life, not to mention in all of history. So here's to the Lord who at this very moment is probably grinning at the thought of how he plans to blow my mind and provide! :) it reminds me of the passage where Jesus fed the 5,000. Right before the miracle he asked His disciples how they would feed the crowds. It says Jesus asked them this question to test their faith because He already knew how he was going to provide. So I imagine Gos has created quite an impossible situation just so He can show off again! I love Him.

Tune in next time to hear the tale of how God provided jobs just in time to pay the bills. (Enter ear to ear grin.)