Never Once

For about a year I have been in survival mode in every way. I have struggled to keep life going. It's very difficult to leave the home you have had for almost 30 years and start from scratch. You have to find new grocery stores, new playgrounds, new friends, new families and new routine. This year was spent doing just that, and not much else.

October of 2012 I had barely arrived and started making my home in Mt. Pleasant when I joined Calvary Chapel of Charleston's Women's Retreat. It was a very quiet place for me. I had a lot of doubts. I had a lot of fears. "What if we made the wrong choice in coming here? What if this really wasn't God's plan? What if we work hard, and are desperately broke and lonely and nothing comes of it? What if, what if, what if?" In that quiet place of my life I clung to faith. "For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

Almost a year later, I headed off to the same retreat with 6 women in tow. I was overwhelmed as I worshipped and saw these women in the crowd, each face a reminder of God's faithfulness. The song Never Once was the theme of the retreat, and has been the theme of my life for about a year now. I couldn't believe the presence of God in that place. Sometimes faith can be a desert and can feel like a lonely place. But I am so thankful for the parts of me that clung to it.

I can be honest and say that I fail all the time. I can be honest and tell you that there have been many tear filled prayers. I can tell you that so many times I wanted more than anything to be with the people that I loved in Colorado and watch the sun set over the mountains. But each time, my heart clung to faith.

Here I am only 1 year later. I am amazed each week as more and more people pour into the doors of the church and are hungry for God's word. I am in awe of the sweet friends God has surrounded us with. I am in love with the southern sunsets that have a misty haze about them. And as I sat there worshipping God surrounded by the women he brought into my life, I felt His presence. I can count on my fingers the amount of times I have FELT the presence of God in my life. That night was one of them.

Maybe it's hard for you to trust a God you cannot see. Maybe it's hard to know a God you cannot feel. I am reminded of when Jesus told Thomas, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I didn't feel God when I chose to follow Him.  I didn't see God when he called me here to brokenness, and loneliness. But I chose faith, no merit to me. God supplied it daily. But there on that evening I saw God and I felt Him.

Maybe you are in the faith that feels like a desert. Maybe you are clinging to the hope that He is who He says He is. Maybe you have recently felt His presence and seen Him. Where ever you are, God is faithful. Every step we are breathing in His grace. Evermore lets sing out His praise. You are faithful. God you are faithful.

Never once did we ever walk alone.
Never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful