Hope: The Unexpected Blessing.

Can you believe it? I am sitting here blogging with a cup of hot coffee and a chocolate chip muffin while 3 children under 2 are sleeping. Just one of the many things I can thank God for.

It amazes me all over again, as I sit and recount the blessings of God in my life in these past 3 months. I  actually started making a list on my iphone of all the answered prayers because I didn't want to forget to thank God for them. I wish there was time for me to explain to you in detail how God has answered my prayers, but there isn't. So I will just say, God is good. He is so good.

I want to encourage/plead with you this afternoon to give God a chance. That has been the reoccurring thread in the tapestry of this move. I am in awe of how big my God is, and although I always had the knowledge of it, only now do I have the experience of it. I admit it has come with a LOT of tears, and actually quite a lot of pain. Moving here wasn't easy. It still isn't. Most of each day is filled with heart ache for the ones we left behind. But slowly and faithfully God has filled my hand each day with a new blessing.

I spend so much time dreaming about the day that this place feels like home. I crave that security. But instead of clinging to that, the Lord has caused me to be desperate for Him. I can't live a moment without Him, and He is rewarding that. I can feel Him close to me. I know He walks with me. I feel His hands guiding me and His arms comforting me. I know the closeness of His face to mine and He reminds me, "Fix your eyes on ME Carolyn."

Giving God the opportunity to have me in every way has both ruined me and changed me forever. I say that with so much admiration for Him. I am so new and I love who He is making me. I laugh at how much I don't care about anymore. I used to be so consumed with my house being filled with trendy decor and wearing the right colors for the coming seasons. I used to calculate in my mind how much we should be able to make in the next 10 years in order to purchase a home. But now, my desire is for Him. Not to know about Him, but to be with Him. I long for His presence each day. I want to please Him in every decision and word and motion.

We have never been so poor. We have never been so lonely. We have never been so broken. But I have hope.

How can I make that sound as rewarding as it truly is? Maybe there is no way to explain it. But friends, it is so full. I have hope in my Jesus! I could sit here and tell you how He has provided for me financially, and how He has rewarded us with physical blessing. I could tell you how He has gone above and beyond all we ask Him for. But nothing compares to the hope I have found in Him.

Give Him a chance. Hope is the unexpected blessing.